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                  孩子,這"三種能力"你要先學會

                  來源:格言大全-yespu.com 日期:2019-03-28 12:42:45 分類:家庭教育 閱讀:

                  孩子,這"三種能力"你要先學會

                    文/李月亮

                    1

                    小侄女讀大學,前幾天我去她宿舍送東西。

                    一進門,差點被撲面而來的酸腐味掀翻。看我掩鼻,侄女撇撇嘴,拿下巴指了指一個靠窗的床鋪。

                    我看過去,也忍不住咧嘴:女生用的瓶瓶罐罐、亂七八糟的包裝袋、吃完外賣的餐盒、黑糊糊生了蟲的果、橫七豎八胡亂擺放的書本……堪稱小型垃圾場,簡直無法直視。

                    本來侄女提前跟舍友都說好了,晚上我請她們吃大餐。別的姑娘準備就緒,只有那個亂糟糟的姑娘還在穿著睡衣蓬頭垢面手機

                    看到我進門,她大叫“哎呀!我還沒換衣服呢!”然后跳起來,在床上的一大堆衣服里挑出皺巴巴的一件,一邊手忙腳亂穿,一邊又叫“哎呀,快遞還沒來拿我的臟衣服!我都沒衣服穿了!”

                    原來她每個月都把臟衣服寄給她媽,媽媽洗好再給她寄回來。

                    快遞要半小時才來。沒辦法,她留在宿舍等,我們出去吃飯了。

                    一出門,幾個姑娘就集體表示受不了,她一個人搞得整個宿舍都沒法待。而且你跟她屁股后都收拾不過來,你前面撿,她后面扔,實在是讓人說不出話來。

                    小侄女本來也是嬌氣孩子,上了高中才會刷鞋。沒想到跟別人一比,她還算好的。

                    我有個朋友是大學輔導員,她跟我說過好幾次“現在的孩子自理能力太差了”。我之前還沒感覺,這次算是見識了。

                    有點震撼。也立刻意識到培養孩子的自理能力多么重要

                    那個臟姑娘的“垃圾場”,應該是所有父母的一個警示牌。

                    一個沒有自理能力、不會照顧自己的孩子,顏值再高學習再好,生活質量也會很糟。

                    而生活能力,不是一天練成的,必須從小培養,到什么階段學什么事——四歲鋪床,五歲扔垃圾,六歲收拾房間,九歲做簡單的飯,十歲洗自己的衣服……

                    一步一個腳印培養起來。千萬別等到十八歲要一個人生活了,才發現兩眼一抹黑,什么都不會。

                    2

                    去年我陪10歲的兒子參加訓練營,他的班長小女孩讓我印象深刻。她不僅把自己照顧得井井有條,還會照顧別的同學。

                    有次一個女生鞋上濺了些泥點,她掏出紙巾,又倒了點自己杯子里的水,蹲下去給擦得干干凈凈。

                    訓練營的老師看見都偷偷豎大拇指。更厲害的是,她能跟我們家長打成一片。

                    在走廊里遇見我,她總大聲打招呼,然后主動

                    “阿姨您是去食堂嗎?在那邊。”

                    “我媽媽買了櫻桃,特別好吃,您去我們房間吃吧。”

                    我覺得這小丫頭是做外交家的料。

                    后來她媽媽告訴我,她從小就特別鼓勵孩子去跟人交往

                    “想要零食自己買。路上遇到送氣球的自己去要。”

                    “有時見到熟人,她打招呼聲音小,別人聽不見,我就鼓勵她‘聲音大一倍’,能讓對方聽見我就給她獎勵。”

                    這位媽媽說,其實女兒并不怎么說話,但主動跟別人接觸多了,就知道并不難,別人又總夸她,她就更愿意與人交往,慢慢就成了性循環。

                    果然,“別人家的孩子”并不都是天生如此,是大人的有意識指引,是生活中的點滴,才讓一個孩子具備了良好的生活和社交能力。

                    而這樣自立、懂事、被人喜歡的孩子,她的未來一定不會差。

                    很多人,本來人不壞,但就是不會好好說話,一句話得罪一屋子人,自己還全然不知。

                    也有的人,永遠不會主動,喜歡的人不會追,想跟領導交流不敢說,心里有什么都憋著,活得特憋屈。

                    還有些人,嘴太笨,開會發言能懟得領導翻白眼,飯桌上給客戶敬個酒都不會,悶頭干了最最累的活,卻一點也不落好,特別虧……

                    很多家長覺得社交能力是孩子“長大自然就會了”的東西。

                    絕對不是。“自然生長”和“父母用心培養”出來的孩子,差距太大了。

                    其實也沒多難,無非是告訴孩子該怎么說話做事,然后鼓勵他不斷去做去說,在一次次練習中,他就掌握了。

                    就算做不到口吐蓮花巧舌如簧,起碼長大后不會因為社交無能而太過苦悶,失去太多。

                    3

                    除了生活、社交能力,還有一樣特別重要:學習能力。

                    我閨蜜,本來工作就累,每天還得陪兒子寫作業到快十一點,一天到晚比一線明星趕場子還忙,幾乎吐血。

                    她很納悶:別人一小時搞定的作業,她兒子要寫兩個多小時。而且人家也沒玩啊,就坐在那認認真真地寫來著,你想揍他都找不著理由

                    而且她兒子成績也不好,老師隔三岔五就在微信上喊話,讓她關注一下。

                    她都有點懷疑兒子智商了。

                    正好我老師是個教育專家。我去問了問,老師說這種孩子很多——上課認真聽講,回家按時寫作業,還每天寫到很晚,可成績就是不好,怎么拎都拎不起來。

                    她說其實多數都不是智商問題,就是學習能力差,不會學。

                    比如語文課上學了個“黑”字,學習能力強的孩子,會“透過現象看本質”,立刻聯想到黑色,下次看到這個字,就想到黑色,認出它來。

                    而不會學習的孩子,就死記硬背,花三分鐘記住了,三小時后又忘了,下次遇到還得重頭再來,磨洋工不說,學習興趣也磨沒了。

                    這種學習能力差的孩子,家長就不能只看他有沒有寫作業、寫得對不對了。

                    更需要關注的,是孩子的注意力在不在線,觀察問題夠不夠細致深入,學過的東西能不能記住,有沒有良好的思維習慣

                    發現哪點不對,都需要及時訓練糾正。

                    人一生啊都需要不斷學習,培養起孩子強大的學習能力,會讓他一生都深深受益。

                    好的生活能力,讓孩子有好的生活質量,清爽利落。好的社交能力,讓孩子在社會得水,不被孤立。好的學習能力,讓孩子能輕松自我提升,不斷觸及更高遠的天空。有了這三種能力,他這一生應該就掉不到溝里了。

                    養孩子這件事,“授之以魚,不如授之以漁”,是永恒的道理

                  X

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