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                  畢業5年后,我從三線城市到了深圳

                  來源:格言大全-yespu.com 日期:2019-03-28 13:12:23 分類:勵志故事 閱讀:

                  畢業5年后,我從三線城市到了深圳

                    文/凡爾娜

                    寫下這個題目的我,已經坐在深圳某孵化器創業工廠的12樓里,從事我喜工作

                    八年前,我從一所二線城市的二流大學畢業。很多同學考研了,很多同學出國了,很多同學去了北上深很彪悍的單位。而我,默默地回家了。在老家的三線城市,我成為一名文員,月薪不過三千元。

                    文員這種工作實在不算有技術含量。老家非常安逸,我家距離上班的地方走路20分鐘,騎車5分鐘。上班前下班后,媽媽可口的飯菜等著我,隔三差五我們還商量做什么新鮮的食物吃,去附近的山上爬山、泡溫泉、野炊。衣食無憂,根本不知道焦慮是什么。

                    工作大概八個月的時候,我突然慌亂,跳經常加快,呼吸喘不過氣。起初,我以為是春季,天氣回暖,有些不適應,后來越來越嚴重體重下降。

                    爸媽帶我去看醫生,診斷證明是輕度焦慮。醫生說,什么都不用做,沒事兒,這是最適合奮斗狀態

                    醫生的話是對的。我無法隱藏對未來的焦慮。文員的工作已經讓我安逸了太久。朋友們從人人網上分享著各自的生活,那些文字和圖片令我焦慮。出國的人,到處旅行,分享國外的趣事,抒發增長見識感慨;讀研的人,開始曬書單,寫聽名師講座的心得;留在大城市的同學分享的職場見聞,對我來說,完全是另一個世界。我知道,在最好年齡他們都在瘋狂肆虐的成長。而我,遠遠地被他們甩在后面。

                    工作安穩,不舍得辭。更深刻原因是,我沒有辭職資本。在看了無數的心靈雞湯之后,我選擇讀書寫字,想要在文字的道路上走得遠一些。

                    之后的兩年里,我每天下班后讀書到12點,有時候到凌晨3點。這段日子是我知識大爆炸的時期,也是充實和焦慮并存的時候。我讀了大量的文學、社會學、心理學、歷史等書籍,甚至在上班不忙的時候也在看書。我的領導很好,在工作不忙的時候允許我看書,如果他有時間,還會指點我讀書。具體讀了多少冊書,我沒有計算,大概在150到200之間。這樣的讀書量并不大,但是對于資質平庸基礎一般的我來說,打開了一扇神奇的大門。

                    找不到與人分享讀書的心得和心境,要知道在三線城市,沒有那么多同城讀書會之類的線下活動。我開始寫。

                    當我把寫出的20篇文章拿給一個讀過創意寫作的表哥看時,他對我的作品大加贊賞,甚至說我有做編劇的潛質。

                    編劇?我眼前一亮,我身邊沒有一個人從事這種職業看電視劇的倒大有人在。

                    收到表哥的鼓勵,我飄飄然起來,以為一只腳已經跨入編輯池,夢想著有一天成為李安、王家衛,沒準可以在電影圈里出個名。

                    我拿作品給同學看,有顯擺的成分。朋友在我的作品上寫滿批注。我當時非常生氣,不久,便與朋友絕交了。現在想想,自己的舉動是多么的幼稚沖動、“中二”。朋友給我的評價非常客觀,我的作品不能稱之為作品,跟中學生作文沒什么兩樣。語法上,錯誤密密麻麻;詞語上,要么匱乏,要么矯揉造作地堆砌不合適的華麗詞匯;整篇文章讀下來,流暢性都不能保證,邏輯詞幾乎沒有,跳躍地比兔子還快,需要他自行腦補無數字。

                    傅雷給張愛玲提出寫作意見時,張愛玲當時二十出頭,風頭正茂,接受不了批評,哪怕那些批評建議善意的、中肯的。張愛玲立即寫了篇小說諷刺傅雷,那篇小說便是《殷寶滟送花樓會》,到了2013年3月份,張愛玲遺產繼承人宋以朗才在發表在《南方都市報》的文章里石破天驚地告訴我們,《殷寶滟送花樓會》的男主角,那個神經質的音樂教授的原型,是著名翻譯家評論家傅雷。

                    我當時也寫了一篇文章,諷刺我那位善意的同學,寫完便被我撕了。寫的內容也不記得了,當時的情緒還記得。時過境遷,現在回想起來那時候的自己,內心是那么“黑暗”。

                    我并沒有氣餒,繼續寫作。素材不夠,就從身邊人下手。我“采訪”了姥姥、舅媽、舅舅、姨媽、姑媽、我爸、我媽、表哥、表姐、高中同學、小學同學......那段時間,我見到親戚朋友,甚至熟人,兩眼放光,仿佛看到金子。我把他們的故事編進小說和散文里。

                    這樣的日子過了整整三年,我寫了大量的散文和短篇小說,還有三篇中篇小說。拿著這些稿件,我不停地投稿,從起初的石沉,一路fail,到后來零星見報,再到后來有人找我約稿。我的自信心大增,了一些寫作經驗腦子里開始蹦出一個新的想法——成為編劇。

                    我先找表哥談了談,因為學歷和眼界的局限,我非常自卑,不知道前方道路到底有多少黑暗。表哥鼓勵我,有夢想就大膽追。

                    我又跟爸媽談論想成為編劇的想法。爸媽起初是不同意的,后來拗不過我,同意我辭職出去闖一下。辭職前,我投的作品獲得一家小型動漫公司的認可,工作地點在深圳。經理讓我去試一試。

                    就這樣,我去了深圳。到了深圳,一切都那么新鮮,一股創新、開放的空氣撲面而來。我在公司附近租了房子,花了五分之一的薪,只是為了上下班不擠地鐵,節省下的時間用于工作或讀書,提升自己。

                    我開始全身心投入工作。同事年輕,可卻很優秀,到處都是海歸和名校985碩士,我“自卑”地向他們學習

                    也許是在老家的三線城市,我已經自律了四年半,深圳的高強度工作不僅沒有給我壓力,卻把我的五臟六腑四肢都打開了,仿佛有一個通往天空梯子打通了我與天空的對接,我的身體處于張開的姿態。我的靈感源源不斷,我的創意開始得到老板和同事的認可。

                    兩年前,我與同事合作創作的劇本被投資方看中。

                    做自己喜歡的事,我之后的人生格外順利。

                    我的經歷非常普通,不過是在還沒有足夠優秀的時候回到老家待了5年。5年里,我積累了在大城市廝殺的功力,我積累了自律的習慣,我積累了黑暗之中獨自一人行走在路途的強大內心。雖然在深圳還沒有房子和車子,可是我對未來從不迷茫更不焦慮。

                    我的同學們已經從國外回來,在各個城市找工作;讀研的同學們開始步入職場打拼,尋找自己的社會坐標;曾經在一線城市打拼的同學,大部分回到了家鄉,所剩無幾的已經成為公司的中層領導。

                    從三線到一線,從一線到三線,有人來,有人走。其實,做自己喜歡的、適合的,在哪里都一樣

                  X

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