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                  人生的三大錯覺,越早認清越好

                  來源:格言大全-yespu.com 日期:2019-03-28 13:38:17 分類:人生哲理 閱讀:

                  人生的三大錯覺,越早認清越好

                    文/北閣小窗

                    人生有很多錯覺,比如:股票要漲,房價要跌,他還你……

                    羅曼羅蘭說過:“世界上只有一種英雄主義,就是認清生活真相后依然熱愛生活。”

                    我們不需要做什么英雄,卻需要認清人生一些錯覺,認清才能放下,放下才能輕盈。

                    特別是人生三大錯覺,越早認清越好。

                    一、認識的人越多越好

                    有人說:“朋友多了好開路。”于是大家都忙著認識更多人,拓展交際圈。

                    話是不錯,但是認識的人多了朋友就多了嗎?不見得吧,事實是認識的人過多,導致自己沒那么多精力培養感情,所以真的處成朋友的反而更少。

                    很小的時候,大家都做過一個夢,向世界所有人討一塊,自己就發財了。長大發現這種想法幼稚了。

                    這個世界有很多厲害的人,你認識他們,他們卻與你無關。

                    我的朋友圈里有好幾個微博幾十萬粉絲的攝影師,也有年入百萬的設計師,更不缺白富美,但是她們跟我有什么關系呢?點頭之交而已。相處圈子不一樣,真遇到什么事兒我連幫個忙的口都不好意思開。

                    張韶涵,曾經是天后級別的歌手,認識大半個娛樂圈的人,但是最近《吐槽大會》上,她說:“我真的沒什么朋友。”

                    經歷親人、朋友插刀,事業跌入谷底,那時候圍繞在張韶涵身邊的“朋友”寥寥無幾。

                    不是認識的人越多得到的幫助越多,失意的時候身邊更可能是空無一人。

                    只有自己強大,才是真的強大。

                    成年后的交際圈有個誰都不挑明的規則:你的價值越大,來認識你的人越熱情,沒有自身價值的社交都是無用社交。

                    這里的價值可以是特別善于傾聽、特別會調節氣氛、特別能守住秘密,有自身價值的社交才是你來我往,互相搭理,不然只是一個人一頭熱而已。

                    浪費太多時間社交是無意義的,現代人講究有效社交。所以有時間到處交哥們兒不如沉淀自己,讀點書、多思考

                    有句話挺矯情,但也挺對:你若盛開,清風自來。

                    二、不回消息,真的是因為忙

                    在感情里,我們都很擅長安慰自己,ta一個小時不回我消息是在開會,3個小時不回消息是手機沒電,8個小時不回消息是太忘記了……

                    其實里門兒清,再忙也不可能幾個小時不回消息啊,ta只是不想理你而已。

                    我還真有個不想理的微信好友,她很煩,不管時間場合給我發語音對話邀請。晚上一點、上班時間、早上八點我都收到過她的語音電話,又沒什么正事,單純嘮嗑。

                    有幾次我提醒她我在上班,我不想說話,我有別的事做,她還是喋喋不休嘮家常,掛掉之后還會彈語音信息。最后我很自然地忽略她的消息,電話不接說沒聽到,語音信息只回表情包。

                    幾天前她發了條動態,指責有個朋友(不是我)好幾個小時都不回她消息卻發了朋友圈,質問她有這么忙嗎?還說這個做法太不尊重人。

                    說真的,我看到這條動態就笑了,別人正在用不搭理的方式告訴你不想理你呢,你卻不自知。

                    很多時候,別人用不回信息代替了一句“你好煩,別說了”,或者“我不回答你的問題,我不同意你說的”,真的是因為這些太直白的話說不出口,還想著留一點尊嚴

                    不管是作為忽略消息還是被忽略消息的一方,都要清楚,不回消息代表著委婉拒絕

                    反思一下自己的行為是否造成對方的困擾,如果沒有,那就拾起對方給的最后一點尊嚴,不要再主動了。

                    三、人生最大的錯覺,是以為來日方長

                    于丹老師曾經分享過一次經歷:

                    她有次骨折去醫院,遇到了一位相當聊得來的醫生—張主任,治療期間他們成了很好的朋友。

                    張主任告訴她,腿里埋了釘子,一年后要來找他取出來。后來于丹忙于工作沒有按時去,張主任幾次提醒,她也想著:還有時間,還有機會

                    沒想到張主任在一次治療中因公殉職了,她這一拖,竟成了與摯友的永別。

                    人生最大的錯覺啊,就是誤以為來日方長,最后才驚覺,世事無常。

                    有人算了一筆賬:

                    如果人平均一生的壽命是78年。

                    我們花28.3年睡覺,花掉三分之一的時間;

                    一天工作8小時,花掉我們一生中的10.5年,再加上加班、通勤,時間更多;

                    花在社交娛樂、人際相處的時間占據了9.5年;

                    加上必要的吃飯睡覺零零散散的時間,真正可以自由支配的時間只有短短9年而已。

                    這意味著活到四十歲之后,屬于我們的時間寥寥無幾了。哪有那么多來日方長呢,很多事現在不做以后真的沒機會了。

                    人最應該擁有的,就是對時間的敬畏感。

                    多花點時間陪陪身邊的人,陪父母說話,陪愛人吃飯,陪孩子成長,時間,千萬不要舍不得花在重要的人身上。

                    答應朋友的約定,一個個實現。哪怕是逛一次街,打一場球,空下來就約了去做。

                    照顧好自己的身體,少生氣,別拼命,等命運收回生命的那一刻還能說句:我享受夠了。

                    人這一生,總是在等。

                    等將來、等不忙、等下次;等有時間、等有條件、等有錢了。

                    等到最后,等沒了健康,等沒了機會,等沒了選擇;等來了遺憾,等來了后悔

                    人生三大錯覺,愿你早些看清,活得更通透。

                  X

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